Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize