i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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