i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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