i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize