i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
