It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
