That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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