what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
