I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
