just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just pee around me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
