I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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