She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
