Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
