What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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