I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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