i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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