can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
