So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
