my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
