Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
