I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
