Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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