Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
