Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
