Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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