PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
