I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
pray to the hookup gods
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
