it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
