I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
