My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
