I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
