East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
