I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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