He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
