If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
