you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
