is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
