Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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