I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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