the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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