Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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