Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
being pregnant is like rehab
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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