I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
