So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
