i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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