I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
