I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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