Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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