you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
