They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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