If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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