you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
