So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
