Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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