when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i want to swaddle you in tequila
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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