Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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