I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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