There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
