i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize