I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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