I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
