I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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