Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
ok first of all what the fuck
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
