He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
