Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
