Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
