the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
