At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
