I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
