@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just blew my weed a kiss
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
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