I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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