I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
