PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
