I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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